What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
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AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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