Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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