it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
