Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
