In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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