i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
