$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Someone shattered a urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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