I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
