so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize