I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
