Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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