So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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