she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Of course I have a pirate flag
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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