Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
