My pussy is not your playground.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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