So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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