would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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