With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
