Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
