THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
