It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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