direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
