you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
