Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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