i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My vagina is very pro this idea
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
