I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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