help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Randomize
