It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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