but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
