he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Pooping to opera.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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