Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
