The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
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Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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