You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
