I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The adults are the big ones right?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
