I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
