Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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