toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
