you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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