i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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