Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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