All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
