I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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