I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
