is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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