I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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