Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
