You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
