Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
