He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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