Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize