My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
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Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
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i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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