i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize