She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
