I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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